It was another day of going to work with the latest argument still ringing in my ears. I was consumed by the rights and wrongs and the high tide mark left by words that once spoken, can’t be unspoken.
It was corrosive to my mental health.
It was corrosive to my ability to do my best work in order to be able to achieve my best work that was needed to achieve our big bold goals.
The impact of conflict at home and a long string of unresolved arguments had left me in a dark place.
We had two young children and we weren’t being the best parents we could be.
Despite having huge goals, my business was struggling and I was working long hours.
As a couple, we definitely were not listening to each other and working as a team.
It was a toxic formula.
Something needed to change.
It appears we weren’t alone. In a YouGov survey of senior managers, over 69% of them admitted to significant problems in their private relationships whilst their current role.
Is this the price of ambition?
Failed home life relationships?
Surely there has to be a better way.
I believe there is.
Write a fresh story
What is the story of your home life, your life outside work?
Perhaps you don’t have one.
At the start of a relationship, the future looks exciting. It’s easy and it flows.
As the years progress, challenges arise. Health, finance, career progression, parenting. Multiple challenges which require teamwork to navigate these together.
How much time have you invested in thinking about how you work as a home team?
None, some, or a lot?
What is your more exciting story of the future as a home team?
I truly believe that the power of deep listening, of co-creating a powerful shared story of the future is the single most important thing that anyone can do to improve one’s home life.
By virtue of the process that is necessary to create that shared story of the future, one is setting expectations around a story that you can create together. All too often, we look to the past with remorse around what once was rather than looking forward to what could be.
There are two huge benefits to this:
First, anchoring around an exciting shared story of the future is more likely to create a strong stable supportive base at home which can enable you to show up in the best way possible.
Second, the skills and the process needed to co-create the exciting shared story is one of the most powerful leadership skills you can develop.
What’s the fresh story you could start writing today?