A friend asked this question last night.
“What’s something you’ve always wanted to do, a yearning that keeps coming back to you. Something important, an itch you’ve not scratched”.
What comes up for you when that question gets asked?
Is that something that perhaps is worth paying more attention to?
The question reminded of one of the more common questions I hear after talks is this:
“I’m so busy doing things that I don’t get time to plan the future - how do you find time to plan for the future.”
I get it. Been there.
Staying there though in the “too busy” space is a choice.
I think it’s the difference between being intentional and letting life happen to you.
Easy to say. Often harder to do in practice.
I have some tools that I find help
Two Useful Tools
There are two specific tools I use, and I’ve seen these time and again with some of the impressive Big Bold Leaders that I’ve met from around the world.
The two things are these:
Creating deliberate space which gets fiercely protected;
Getting good at saying no.
The two tools go hand in hand.
Let’s explore.
Creating Space
It’s as simple as it sounds. Switch off your phone. Remove all distractions. Blank paper and pens usually help.
Set a specific period of time - an hour, a couple hours, 30 minutes if that’s too much.
Could be on your own. Could be with someone else to create a shared discussion.
Ask a question that matters to you, and then just write down what comes up.
Really stop and be present and think, reflect and play with the ideas.
Create some follow up time. It could be the same time every week (my wife and I used to set an alarm for 5am Sunday morning when the kids were still asleep to create 2 hours of dedicated time to planning our future).
If you literally cannot find any time, consider asking what you can remove to create some space.
The future happens best I think when we become more intentional about it.
Leaning to Say “No”
This one is particularly tricky for people pleasers (you know who you are!)
Nature hates a vacuum and when we create space, it’s the easiest thing in the world for new things to race in and fill it.
I notice amongst great leaders that they get really good at saying no. It means that whatever they say “Yes” to, they can pour so much more time energy and focus into it.
In the last month I created some space for a new project. Something interesting appeared almost immediately. I kicked the tyres hard on it and reflected. After 3 weeks it became a hard no - it didn’t meet the criteria for this stage of what I’m looking to do.
Almost immediately, three fresh new projects presented themselves. I’m now taking my time to explore these fully before committing to any one of them.
I think there are opportunities around us all the time, but we seldom see them because we’ve filled our lives to 120% of our capacity so interesting new things just pass us by.
Back to that quiet whisper you keep hearing that comes up all too often…
What would happen if…
you created space to explore it
you got much better at saying no, so that the yes means so much more.
Some experiments to play with.
3 Experiments to Play with
1. The 5-Minute Experiment: The Thing that never leaves
Take 5 minutes and reflect on what’s the thing, the yearning, the quiet whisper in your head. Take it out of your head and give it an outing on a piece of paper. Stick the paper on the wall where you will see it. Fan the flames of that quiet voice a little.
2. The 30-Minute Experiment: Talk About It
Have a discussion about the Yearning with someone else. Ask what their’s is. Help fan the flames of their thing. Whatever we focus on grows.
3. The 1-Hour Experiment: Imagine Some “What If” Scenario’s
Create space which is distraction-free and play with some “what if” scenarios. Reflect on what things are most important to you, and what you would say no to. Create some time to regularly reflect and build momentum for your ideas.
The single best way to create the future you want is to consciously, specifically and deliberately create it.
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