How many of your connections would remember something you said or did six years ago?
We live in a world obsessed with numbers—LinkedIn connections, followers, likes. Success is measured by how many people know our name, how much content we put out, and how fast we respond. But how many of those relationships carry real weight? How many of those conversations truly matter?
And here’s the thing: this isn’t just how we’ve chosen to operate.
We’ve been trained to think this way.
The systems and algorithms that shape our world reward breadth, not depth. Social media platforms push us to collect connections, not build relationships. Work cultures celebrate busyness over focus. The relentless demand for speed and visibility makes it easy—almost inevitable—to skim rather than engage, to react rather than reflect.
We’ve been played.
Real impact—the kind that lingers for years—doesn’t come from being seen by thousands. It comes from being truly known by a few.
A few days ago, I was reminded of a letter I wrote to Paul six years ago. Paul was the organiser of an event in South Africa and very kindly looked after meand welcomed me to stay with his family.
Not a fleeting email or a passing comment, but something deliberate and meaningful. Last week, he told me that letter had stayed with him—so much so that he referenced it in his upcoming book:
“I still have the letter Caspar wrote to me six years ago. It wasn’t just words on a page; it carried thought, intent, and meaning. That’s rare in a world that moves so fast. And that’s why it stuck with me.”
That’s the thing about depth. It lasts.
The world tells us that more is better.
More contacts, more projects, more surface-level engagement.
Likes and comments on your latest post are the measure of success we’ve unconsciously adopted.
But real breakthroughs—whether in relationships, work, or ideas—don’t come from spreading ourselves thinner. They come from going deeper. From committing to mastery, not just competence. From focusing not on how many things we touch, but on how well we understand the ones that matter.
So here’s the challenge: instead of asking, How can I do more?, try asking, Where should I go deeper?
This week, let’s experiment with depth in three areas:
The 5-Minute Experiment: Being 100% Present
Pick a conversation—any conversation. For five minutes, put your phone down, stop thinking about what you’re going to say next, and just listen. Pay attention to what’s really being said.
The 10-Minute Experiment: Writing with Depth
Instead of dashing off a quick reply or sending a standard message, take ten minutes to write something that actually matters. A thoughtful email. A handwritten note. A message that will be remembered years from now.
The 30-Minute Experiment: Deep Work
Pick one task and block 30 minutes to go all-in. No multitasking, no jumping between tabs, no distractions. See what happens when you focus completely.
The goal? To prove to yourself that depth creates impact in a way that breadth never will.
Because at the end of the day, it’s not about how many people we know. It’s about the moments that matter, the ideas that stick, and the conversations that truly change things.
Go deep. That’s where the magic happens.